I don't know where to begin...
There is immense value in emotional intelligence, open communication, and respectful discourse. I wish nothing more for that to have been the path taken - but it wasn't - so here we are.
It has recently come to our attention that Chad’s youngest daughter has published inflammatory and disparaging remarks on Facebook. Despite the slandering nature of these posts, Chad has chosen to take the high road and refrain from commentary. Today that changes.
Since Haven opted to block everyone, which revokes any opportunity for Chad or his father/step mother to respond and offer insight, dialogue, clarification, or a shared perspective of their own. And because there appears to be no space for resolution or response elsewhere, I will take the liberty to address it here - on my blog.
Let me be clear: we have no interest in airing personal matters, nor do we wish to delve into painful history. But Haven has chosen to perpetuate a false narrative publicly, complete with damaging accusations. Since ignoring it hasn’t diminished the attacks - in fact, they’ve persisted - what follows is a more honest and nuanced account.
First: Feel free to read Haven’s original post, as well as her older sister Ashley’s response. (It appears not all of the Cavitts were blocked.) Thank You Ashley for coming to the defense of your father 💗
"Dad and I are no longer speaking"
First and foremost, This revelation that Chad was blocked first came to light in January - it was news to us. Communication between Chad and Haven had been seemingly normal. They spoke around Christmas and it was a typical exchange; a brief update, I love you and miss you's and I believe even words of hoping to visit soon. Chad told Haven he would send her money for Christmas once he received his next check. When that day arrived, he went to reach out to her and her account was gone. He reached out to her friend Cheyenne, only to learn she was traveling. We assumed she had temporarily deactivated her profile due to being away. It wasn’t until weeks later we learned she had, in fact, blocked him and changed her name.
The last time we saw Haven in person was in Murray. She hadn’t notified us of her visit, but Cheyenne coordinated a surprise dinner. The evening was full of laughter and joy and it was all laughs and smiles.
"and no amount of trying to make up for it is going to fix it now, not that he's tried very hard"
General Note For Anyone: Let’s pause. It’s incredibly difficult to fix something when you're unaware that something is broken. Haven never once reached out to express concern, seek closure, or request a conversation. Not once.
Chad has never been unkind to Haven. What he is is a straightforward, no-nonsense Southern military man. His tone may not always be delicate, but his heart has always been rooted in honesty and loyalty. You can love someone deeply and still not align with every life choice they make.
"Stuff to unpack with a therapist" - I pray for Haven's sake, that she finds a therapist who believes in fostering both self-reflection and personal accountability. Therapy is an invaluable resource, but when wielded improperly, it risks enabling a culture of victimhood - one that places blame outward without introspection.
Personal growth demands ownership. If someone finds themselves chronically isolated and surrounded by fractured relationships, there comes a point when the common denominator must be acknowledged. Healing begins with self-awareness.
Haven’s decision to adopt the surname “Williams” appears to be a symbolic slight toward Chad to inflict pain and hurt. Well done. Mission accomplished.
Backstory: Her mother tragically passed away when Haven was just two years old, so she has never really known her mother and longed for that relationship so deeply. Chad has had the same telephone number and lived in the same town for 30 years and I can count on one hand the instances of outreach from her maternal grand parents. We even contacted her grandfather during a trip to Florida, but he was unavailable to meet her. So, while I think it's great that she wants to feel closer to her mother - I am not sure why that side feels more like family to her over those who have been there for her throughout her entire life.
Haven referenced her grandparents and an alleged experience of religious trauma. Let’s be honest: they believe in God, occasionally encouraged church, and invited her to consider faith. Nothing was ever imposed on her. She was never coerced or shamed.
"I will not be silenced, or talked down to. You either love me for who I am, or you walk."
No one has tried to silence Haven. People have offered alternate perspectives - she simply refuses to receive them. She demands unconditional love while being unwilling to extend that same grace to others. Disagree with her ideology, and you're labeled hateful. But she feels entirely justified mocking religion, faith, or those who see the world differently and that is perfectly acceptable. (This is a generational issue, not isolated to Haven)
This contradiction is emblematic of a larger cultural shift. We live in a time where tolerance is demanded but rarely reciprocated. If you’re religious, conservative, support traditional sports boundaries, or have a dissenting opinion - you’re instantly labeled with a barrage of accusations: racist, homophobic, intolerant. It’s exhausting and dishonest. My generation is responsible as we desired a society to be inclusive, and somehow we’ve lost the plot and have navigated so far away from the intended goal it is unrecognizable.
"I am not afraid to stand on my own because I've done it from the age of 18. I will not tolerate being abused anymore"
This is perhaps the most disturbing claim of all. Haven was a profoundly challenging child to raise. Her behavioral issues surfaced at a very early age and persisted for years. As early as age 6 or under, she kicked a baby in the face at day care. I wish I could say that type of aggression and acting out was isolated - but it wasn't.
Chad lost his wife (Haven's Mother) in his thirties and was left to raise a daughter alone with a lifetime of worry ahead of him, all while serving his country in the military. He relied on his parents for support during those early years, but Haven was always surrounded by love - Chad, Papa Dennis, Grandmother Trish, and later, Grandmother Marie. Her aunt Kristy, and older sisters were all involved in providing care and guidance. They say it takes a village.
To label any of them as abusive is appalling and dishonest. Yes, she received tough love. No, she was never mistreated. The insinuation is not just unfair - it’s morally reprehensible and will not be tolerated without some form of a rebuttal that shares a bit more truth and perspective.
The point is, there have been so. many. people who have bent over backwards trying to help Haven (myself included). But the lies, manipulation, and hostility wears people down and eventually, everyone reaches a limit.
Chad? He never gave up. He always stood by her side until it was time for her to fly on her own. I’ll be the first to admit - he can be blunt, difficult even. But he’s also steady, loyal, and never quits. In the early years of my marriage, it was my bond with Haven that kept me going. I always believed she had boundless potential if she would apply herself but she lacked confidence and discipline. She got caught up in a world of self loathing and turned to the internet for comfort. As she grew, life became harder. Responsibilities replaced fantasy. And with that came resentment.
Haven lived with us and attended Murray State University. The summer prior to her turning 20, we purchased a home down by the lake. She had to choose between getting her license or moving to campus. She opted for campus and from there - one bad decision led to another and within a year she had dropped out of University and was living on someone's couch.
We helped her when we could during her young adult years by driving her to the airport, helping her pack and move across the state. Of those she blocked - they all stepped up when able and made trips across state when she needed assistance. She was never alone. Her friend Cheyenne always made sure she had a place to live and helped Haven get a job.
Haven is not inherently malicious. I believe she is struggling and in need of healing. But her posts inflict deep pain - especially on the man who has spent his entire life trying to provide for her and offer her a chance to make something of her life.
I don't know why she continues to make her posts on social media when there is no one there to read them really. I'm not sure if they're a cry for help or what benefits she receives by posting her drama in public but what I do know is...
Her words wound her father deeply. This is a man who has weathered hardship after hardship, yet remained steadfast in his commitment to his children, doing the best he could with the tools he had. Through every season of life, he has continued to grow, to reflect, and to evolve into a more empathetic and emotionally attuned version of himself. If Haven ever chose to look beyond her judgments and truly see her father for who he is - and who he is striving to become - she might finally uncover a truth far more complex and compassionate than the narrative she clings to.
Haven has chosen a path that excludes us and that is her right. We will carry our hope from afar that she finds clarity, not confusion; accountability, not excuses; and peace, not projections.
We wish her well in life and that she gets everything beautiful this world has to offer. We always have.
He has ALWAYS loved her. It was just never enough.
