Validate & Appreciate

It doesn't take much to show someone you love and appreciate them. Especially when it comes to people of the female gender. We don't need expensive gifts or outlandish acts/expressions to feel adored and cherished. All we need are the little things, that are meant for only us. A kiss good-morning, a hug hello, a slap on the ass if you're feeling giddy.

When it comes to gifts, the price tag doesn't matter. Just the thought. It's not about how much money you invested into the present, moreso how inspired you are by the intended recipient. You could buy a music lover the most fancy drum set in the world but if they don't play the drums - it won't make much sense. But if they're a guitar player and you search out a pick with an engraved photo of their favorite artist - now that is going to be impressive. Even if it only cost you 25 cents.

Mother's Day was this past weekend. I know, by some people's standards, I'm not a 'real mom'. I've never given birth or adopted a child. But I do spend a great deal of time and money assisting others to raise their children so whether I deserve it or not - I like to think I've earned a day in the sun on Mother's Day.

Facebook was bombarded with post upon post with people giving love to their mom's. It was wonderful but I won't pretend I wasn't glad when Monday rolled around and my feed was a little less flowery. Ha.

There were a few things that annoyed me though;

1. Mother's Day is for Mother's. Not Father's. I don't care if you're raising a child alone - the day is intended for females. Just like Father's Day is intended for males.  Yes, I fully understand there are parents who 'fill both roles' but that's such a backass backwards way of viewing the world now-a-days, it kind of makes my blood boil.

You are a parent. Parent is no longer just a noun, it is a verb. You parent. You raise your child. That involves certain tasks. Whether it be taking them to little league, washing their clothes, helping them with their homework -whatever - these roles are no longer defined by gender. Mother's Day is not defined as a day to celebrate the parent who does the laundry. It is designed to celebrate the female in the parental relationship.

When you introduce yourself to your child's teacher do you say - "Hey! I am Adam's mother and father" ? Of course you don't because that would be stupid.

So if you're a single parent - you'll get your day, you just don't get both. Unless you have both the x and the y chromosome and somehow had sex with yourself and delivered your own baby. Then you can have both. And your own realty tv show.

Some people always gripe that mother's (and father's) should be appreciated every day of the year and not just one a Sunday in May (or June or whenever). Right. I don't disagree. But what's the harm in having one day that is just a little more special than the rest? On the flip side, there's nothing more special than a national holiday to bring emphasis to just how little your efforts are appreciated. So there's a definite negative among the chaos.

At the end of the day - every day - make sure you can reflect back and say "Yep, I took every opportunity to make sure those I love, know they're appreciated" Because they may not be there tomorrow. Life is precious and short and unpredictable. Don't wait until tomorrow to do what you can accomplish today!

The Life Of Live

On Facebook, life is different. Some people act as though they're mother of the year (when in reality, everyone else on the planet is raising their child), others act as if their marriage is amazing-and-perfect (when in reality, they're cheating on their spouse), some act tough-like nothing could ever get them down (when in reality, they're falling apart from the inside out), some act like they're victims of well.. everything (when in reality, they're psycho and are 100% responsible for all of their problems) - the list goes on.

Truth is - nothing is perfect. Life is not designed to be a series of Pinterest posts. It is hard and fragile but has the potential to be oh-so-wonderful if you appreciate the blessings you have around you and every day you're given on this earth. I know, I know. Some days that is easier said than done.

You get out of life what you put in it. If you stand around waiting for the world to thank you for existing and put zero effort into your relationships (marriage, children, parental, siblings, friends) then you're going to get zero effort returned. 

If you sit on your thumbs and wait for everyone else to solve your problems, eventually they'll give up on you and the world as you know it, will fall apart. 

If you lie, steal, break rules and disrespect the people who support, encourage and make your life even possible - eventually they'll reach their bullshit capacity and you'll be swimming in a stinky mess that is your life.

You have a choice. Contribute to society or don't. Contribute to your family or don't. Be a good husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, sibling, parent - or don't. The choice is absolutely, entirely and completely yours.  And so will the consequences. Those will be yours too. The good, the bad, the ugly. You are responsible for how your life turns out. You. Only you.

If you find yourself going through a lot of relationships. If you find yourself having to start-over all the time. If you find yourself fighting with everyone. If you find yourself being yelled at all the time. If you find yourself being broke more than you're not. If you find yourself buried in bills every month. Who is the common denominator? 

Me? I find myself frustrated. And sad. A lot. And I know it's my fault. I have absolutely no patience left. None. I have endured all I can and the tiniest things make me want to explode (or implode) It's up to ME to fix that. I have to make some difficult decisions or commit to some difficult choices. But I do need to take my own advice and do something different because clearly, what I am doing isn't working. I can't rely on other people to help me get to where I need to be to feel happy and less frustrated. So it's up to me. It's always been up to me.