If you could see how many drafts of unpublished blogs I have; you'd
probably laugh. The amount of times that I have had something to say but
decided it just wasn't worth the effort. If I put it into words, then
it becomes real and I have to own up to it and face the turmoil - the
never ending turmoil, that is going through my head and heart.
I am tired. I am so tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Just tired. I know I am far from perfect but I also know I try so hard. I
feel like I am constantly putting everyone and everything ahead of
myself. My own wants. My needs. My desires, hopes and dreams. I am
always biting my tongue. Always turning a blind eye. Always pretending
whatever it is people are doing (or aren't doing) isn't bothering me.
Isn't tearing away at my soul. I pretend that I am not slowly dying
inside.
And for what? What reason. Why do I bother?
If
you have a friend in your life who means something to you - let them
know. Don't always make it about you. If someone makes choices or does
things you don't agree with - get over it. It's none of your business.
Quit being hateful and condescending. If you have family you never speak
to, maybe check in. If you've let someone down and you know it - take
the first step to repair the damage.
Always say thank
you. Always show someone you care. Ask them how they are. Give a good
god damn about them and DO NOT take them for granted. Because I promise
you every single time you let a chance pass to show someone you care -
they notice.
They'll stop caring. They'll stop asking
you how you are. They'll stop being there for you. Because everyone has a
breaking a point. You will lose that person in your life.
So if you love them. If you care. Don't take them for granted. Just don't.
