Relationships - Does He Really Love You?

Don't be surprised but Faebook has once again inspired a thought to be formed in my brain. This doesn't happen often so I like to put pen to paper when it does. 

I don't know if it's the season and people are naturally inclined to try and out do one another, to keep up with the Jones' so to speak - but it seems like more and more people are putting on a charade about their life being so close to perfect that even the angels in heaven would be jealous.

While this covers pretty much every topic you could imagine, I am going to zone in on one area in particular - relationships. There are people who are almost unrecognizable now. And I am not talking just physically - though even that seems to have changed - but people you've known for years, knew their beliefs, their values and their life priorities - Well it all seems a distant memory. 

These people have one thing in common and that's that they've entered into a new relationship. The newest, latest and greatest 'love of their life'. It seems they're going to great lengths to change themselves and re-write their past to accommodate their future and, quite frankly, it makes no sense and gives me cause for concern for them.

Naturally, when you enter a new relationship you have to blend your worlds together equally. You each may make small sacrifices and changes to better your relationship and inevitably - better yourself as an individual. However, if you completely turn yourself into someone new in an effort to make someone else happy - you're only going to end up hurt and alone. 

Because they don't love you.

And no amount of changing is going to make them love you. They may think they love you. They may even try to convince you (and themselves) daily. But chances are if you find yourself giving more, changing more, sacrificing more - you're also going to lose more. If you have anything left to lose, that is.

You're not reinventing yourself, you're losing yourself. You're erasing everything you've ever been and believed in, in an effort to make your partner love you. This seems to be happening in both genders but women are taking the crown. 

So ladies - this is for you. Be yourself. Love yourself as you are. You shouldn't have to change jobs, change your style, make new friends or anything else super life altering like that to make your man happy.

And fellas - If you're spending less time with your kids, growing facial hair you truly can't stand or feel yourself being cut off from the world - or completely sucked into hers. You need your own identity. 

Love is a wonderful thing but it should be natural, not forced. Real, not fake. Do yourself and your new relationship a favor and get back to the basics, back to what's really important and make sure you're not giving yourself away in the name of 'love'.

If you feel like you're constantly trying to measure up - chances are you never will.