Just Waiting...

 I'm struggling.
Looking for a way, looking for an answer
Hoping someone else can figure it out for me
I have no idea what is the right thing to do
I pride myself on making the right choices, even if they're not easy. But what's 'right' ? I have no clue right now.

Do I feed the entitlement? Do I sacrifice myself?
Do I continue to wait and hope, even though each day means I lose a little more of myself?

I try to hang onto the good times. They do exist. They're just so far and few between that it's hard to remember what they are sometimes. Or how they made me feel.

Usually, I feel alone. Lost. Like I'm walking on a tread mill, up a hill, in the dark and I have no idea what I'll find at the end of my journey - if anything at all. I see nothing, I feel nothing. But pain. And tears. And loneliness.

I have no one in my day to day life that supports or encourages me. I give, and give, and give, and give until there's NOTHING left. And then I give some more.

Just waiting, hoping - someday, maybe - someone here will SEE me. And care. And act like they care. And show me they care.

I'm just waiting........